september and october

i wanna give a comment on these two months in my life.
i realized that, these two months is my the most "directionless" months..
tears and moodless all happened in these two months.
of course, now still remain.

since start new sem until now almost over half sem, but still don't know what i'm studying about.
club has no direction
assignments like never finish never end
lecturers like killer

hopeless... haiz... hopeless for my result in this sem..

pressured . depressed

these few days, i have been being super duple depressed.
for club, for assignments, for friends.
i don't know why i become like this.
for club, i saw  my members, my friends are being in negative ways.
for assignments like no direction
for friends like all emo

depressed...
sometimes feel like wanna cry loudly, shout it out then kill myself in releasing..

u know what, i found no way to solve my problem..
i really have no idea how to release
talk to someone? can't make it
do something to distract my focus on these stuffs? don't know which way to start
cry? lagi sakit

so, what i should i do?
i'm tired......